Phoenix - The NHL's Island of Misfit Toys

With the news that Owen Nolan is apparently going to sign with Phoenix I went about wondering (not for the first time) what exactly the game plan is down in the ol' desert.

At a casual glance one is struck with the preponderance of, for lack of a more polite term, NHL cast-offs and "B rate" pseudo-stars peppering the line-up. For example:

- $3 million man Mike Comrie was run out of Edmonton on a rail. He was traded to the Philadelphia Flyers in 03/04 where he played a mere 21 games before being dumped to the Coyotes for some spare parts (Burke, Radivojevic, prospect). Apparently his experiences in Edmonton were so..."significant", TSN sees fit to list them as a "flaw" in his scouting report:

Doesn't have ideal NHL size. Must put his Edmonton ordeal behind him. Needs to work on his play without the puck.

That can't be good.

- Oleg Saprykin. A first round draft pick of the Calgary Flames, Saprykin never managed to live up to his billing. He tended to be very inconsistent and more than a little unintelligent when he was on the ice: his primary offensive strategy seemed to be "skate fast and shoot from anywhere". He would disappear, offensively, for long stretches and was always useless in his own end. After the cup run, he was packaged with Denis Gauthier and sent to Phoenix for Damond Langkow. While a sentimental favorite thanks to being part of the cup-finalist squad, most Flames fans, upon reflection, were glad to see the back of him.

- Jeremy Roenick. JR had a horrible season last year for the $4 million + LA paid him. Thanks to his advancing age and history of concussions, The Mouth was forced to engage in an earnest PR campaign during the summer in order to raise interest in his services around the league. It was rumored he was coming to Calgary for a short while and I was pretty happy when Roenick settled on Phoenix. Seems like a natural fit to me.

- Steven Reinprecht. Another guy who can't seem to stick despite offensive flair, Rhino was first a King, then a Sabre (for about 2 hours) next an Av and then a Flame and is now a Coyote. Speaking from a Flames persepective, Reinprecht has offensive talent. He also has a penchant for inconsistency and isn't the strongest guy around. Not to mention his injury-prone-ness. That said, Rhino ended the year strong after the trade last season and he managed to produce career numbers. Im still a little miffed about the meagre return Sutter got in this trade (Reinprecht, Sauve for Boucher and Leclerc).

- Georges Laraque. Laraque was cut loose this summer by the Oilers despite being immensely popular with players and fans alike. Edmonton management no doubt recognized that the league is on the fast track to rendering guys like Big Georges obsolete. So what do the Coyotes do? Sign the UFA with virtually zero leverage to a 2 year, $2.2 million contract with the an added no trade clause! That's what!

- Mike Ricci. Aging and beat up, Ricci's game has been on the decline for a few years now. He scored 7 goals and 26 points with the Sharks in 03/04 after which he was released as an UFA by San Jose. 'Course, in swooped the Desert Dogs...

- Derek Morris. Don't get me started on Derek Morris. I hated him when he was in Calgary. I went to games back in the dark ages of the "Young Guns" primarily to taunt him...anyways, Morris is another "highly touted" former Flame's draft-pick that has somehow ended up in Phoenix. Calgary got rid of him as soon as Jordan Leopold showed signs of being an NHL defensemen and then he eventually wore out his welome with his 2nd team, Colorado, as well. He's got some skill, but he's pretty much just a passionless tool. Im convinced he'll end his career somewhere in Germany.

- Curtis Joseph. Maligned for being a play-off loser, Joseph was signed by the Coyotes for a virtual song and dance...mainly because no one else was willing to take a chance on him. He's a 39 year-old former all-star who's never won the Stanely cup...and it looks like he never will. His best days are probably well behind him (and he's their #1 goalie next year).

- Philippe Sauve. Was told to basically take a long walk off a short pier by Sutter last season.

- Nick Boynton. Was drafted by Washington in the first round back in '97. Then he was drafted in the first round again by Boston a year later after the Capitals let him re-enter the draft for some reason. After a couple of salary disputes and some injuries, the Bruins sent Boynton to Phoenix for Paul Mara. I still don't understand this trade from a Coyotes perspective. I guess Mara just wasn't "unwanted" enough?

(For those of you that are especially bored, check out the guy listed directly below Boynton on tsn's player list. Excellent porno alias, no?)

And add to all that Owen Nolan. A 34 year old guy who's played all of 79 NHL games in the last 4 years. He was apparently battling knee-injuries and Toronto Maple Leaf lawyers all of the prior season. Hell, after he failed to sign with a team around the trade deadline in March, I figured he was in line for retirement. Guess not.

I suppose they can just keeping adding them to the pile. Should he flop in the swamp, expect to see Bertuzzi wearing Coyotes silks sometime in the near future. Mike Danton's out of prison? How fast can he get down south? I wonder how long Rico Fata's going to swim against the current? Considering their tendency for accumulating ex-Flames-prospect-turned-crappy-player, it's only a matter of time before we see Rico skating swiftly and stupidly into the boards at either end of the Coyotes rink...

EDIT - How could I forget the Brett Hull fiasco?